I Called Because I Just Need To Feel You On The Line

Weeks ago, against my better judgment, I called you. I was lonely, and sad, and so sick of sleeping alone that I just wanted to hear your voice. You were delivering so we didn't really talk. You sounded very unsurprised to hear from me. Like you knew I'd come crawling back. Which is why I didn't call you back. I figured if you wanted to talk to me you would call me.

Well you did. Sunday night. I was grumpy and didn't feel like talking to anyone so I pretended to be sleeping when my mom knocked on my door. Later when I looked at the caller ID and saw your name and number I felt like I was just punched in the stomach. And now I'm confused. And I miss you again, which for the record, I stopped doing for about an hour.

You told her that you wanted to say happy birthday, that is why you wanted my number. Well my birthday was three weeks ago. So now I'm wondering why you really called. Did you just want to talk. Chew the fat with someone who has seen you naked, knows how you breathe while you are sleeping, has held your hand and laughed with you, sat in your car and cried with you. Or did you call because you, like me, are missing what we had. Cause I do miss it. I miss our jokes, and sleeping in your bed, and holding your hand, I miss kissing the back of your neck, I missing watching the Simpsons with you. I just miss you.

Or did you want to see how I was. Well as you may be able to tell I'm not that great. I'm lonely and sad. And I spend all day trying not to think about it. Trying to tell myself that there are plenty of fish in the sea and all that. But it sucks when the one you want you had to throw back.


Did the other girl, the one you felt you could marry, not work out? Are you just as lonely as me? Somehow I doubt that. You never did seem to have a problem finding someone to spend your nights with .

Was it just that? Did you have no one else to be with that night (and God forbid you spend a night alone) so why not give me a call. Maybe I would have hung out with you that night. Had I answered the phone, and had you asked. It would be so easy to slip back into what we used to do. And how I would love it. But I couldn't do it, not like it was. I couldn't be just one of the many. Just a chorus girl in the stage version of your lovelife.

But I would like to hear your voice....