Creative Writing

They met in line at the bank. It was a hazy Friday afternoon. Payday. The lines were impossibly long and slow moving. It was hot inside the bank, huge plate glass windows filled the west facing wall flooding the space with that orange-gold glow that belongs exclusively to summer. The air conditioner, try as it may, was no match for the poor architecture and the mid-July heat wave. She could hear it sputtering, coughing out chilly air that was tepid by the time it reached ground level. She craned her neck trying in vein to catch even a slight breeze from the fan behind the row of tellers. Instead she got a breath full of the sent of a man. A familiar smell of deodorant, and cologne, mixed slightly with something else.... Paint thinner perhaps, or maybe just sweat. It was the sent of a man, a man that worked with his hands. She let her mind wander with that thought for a moment, picturing this man, who's shadow stretched out long, but broad, next to her own on the utilitarian beige carpeting. When she checked her watch and it said 4:50 she started to get even more impatient, the bank was only open until five and she was still six people back in line. A fresh wave of heat passed over her. She pulled the light cotton sun dress she wore away from the small of her back, where it was sticking slightly to her moistened skin, trying to relieve the heat. But she couldn't quite catch hold of her slip. As she was fishing a hair clip out of her canvas bag she could feel the weight of this mystery man's stare on her. When she finally got a hold of her hair clip and pulled it out a pot of lip gloss came out with it. It fell to the floor rolling back and to her right. As she turned to pick it up she came face to face with the man of her recent day dreams. Standing there holding her lip gloss in the palm of his big open hand. She let her eyes wash over him, taking him in. He was attractive. Tall, broad shouldered, nice eyes, green almost teal. His brown hair was cut close to his scalp, and his muscles tugged slightly at the arms and across the chest of his grey T-shirt. She made eye contact and smiled, taking the lip gloss out of his hand, letting her fingers trail lightly over his rough palm. "Thanks" she said arching her eyebrow and half grinning. He nodded no problem and a slow but very sexy smile spread across his mouth reveling a small chip in his front left tooth. She turned dropping her lip gloss back into her bag and gathered her hair into a loose pile of amber curls and secured it with the clip.

The line moved ahead one person and her mind started to wander again. She was picturing the new man of her dreams. Standing just inches behind her. She could feel the heat coming of his body, and his breath on the back of her neck. That's him she thought. The man she had been asking all her friends about. She had thought that his kind had all died out. Leaving only the touchy feely, let's talk, and cuddle afterwards, types behind. She knew what she wanted and he was standing behind her in Carharts and cement encrusted work boots. As the line moved ahead again she became aware that she may never get the chance to see this man again. So she decided to go after him. She wouldn't be as blatant as she wanted to be, but she would send the signals, if he bit then she'd go for it. She used all her tried and tested moves. She rolled her shoulders and let one of the thin straps of her dress fall down her arm. Then she started to gently rub her shoulders and neck. Letting out low almost inaudible moans when she hit certain spots. She heard him inhale and take step closer to her. That's it she thought his appetite has been piqued. As she swayed gently back and forth on her three inch heels as she hummed along with the music coming from the headphones of the kid in front of her. She couldn't quite place the song but she knew the tune well enough to hum. She shifted her weight and took a slight step back with her left foot, leaning herself directly into his personal space. She didn't realize how close he was standing, and she landed almost directly on top of his foot. She felt his hand catch her on her hip as she turned to apologize. They locked eyes and she gave a small smile and said "I'm sorry I was daydreaming a bit there." He looked her up and down and with his hand still resting on her hip said "No apology needed. What were you daydreaming about?" she leaned in real close, placed her hand on his chest, looked up into his eyes and said "You." She could she a slight blush rise into his cheeks. Barely noticeable through his deep tan but it was there. He introduced himself taking his hand off her hip to shake hers. "I insist that all woman who daydream about me at least know my first name, I'm Matt." "Lilly." she answered loving the way his hand completely enveloped her own. "It's a hot one." He said giving a sideways nod toward the window. "Yes it is." Lilly replied thinking more of him than the weather. The line moved ahead and Matt placed his hand on the small of Lilly's back guiding her forward. "What would you say to a drink, after we are done with our banking that is." "I would say yes. As long as it's a cold one." "I promise." he said as he pointed to an open teller who was giving Lilly the impatient evil eye. She finished up her bank business and stood aside waiting for Matt and smiling to herself for being so adventurous. Matt finished up and dropped his wallet back into the square indent in his back pocket. "Ready?" he asked as he put his big hand on Lilly's back and led her to the door. "As I'll ever be." she replied.

"Should we take separate cars?" Lilly asked with no idea where they were going. She was more nervous that she thought she should be. Things that her grandmother had always warned her about were floating through her head. Some long stories about why men are horrible, others as simple as don't talk to strangers. "No need, there's a pretty good bar right up the street, they even serve food if you're hungry." "Oh perfect!" Lilly replied loving the way that his hand floated from her back to her hip to her elbow. It was nice feeling his need to touch her. "So you wanna elaborate on that daydream you were having about me?" "Um..." Lilly stammered trying to compose herself, she had been daydreaming about him but it was really nothing specific, just him being a man and her being a willing partner. She stammer out a few more um's and uh's before he finally said "Well here it is, maybe a few drinks with loosen your tongue." "That just might do the trick." Lilly replied with a flirty lilt in her voice. It was a nice bar she had to give him that. Very much in the theme of an old gentleman's smoking room. Lots of dark wood, plush crimson fabrics, vintage cigar advertisements hanging on the walls, and a very comfortable looking leather couch pushed against the far wall. Matt pointed to a small booth nestled in the far dark corner. Lilly made her way through the Friday "quittin' time" crowd to the booth very aware of how close matt was walking behind her. She slid into one side and he took the other. The table was a narrow plank of dark wood. The booth had very high backs on either side, giving it a very private feel. Mat's knees touched hers under the table and a wave of heat flashed over Lilly's skin. "So, Lilly what do you do." They made small talk for a while until it became obvious that no waitress was going to come over to this lonely booth in the corner. "Did you want some dinner or just a drink?" "Just a drink is fine with me." "Well what'll ya have?" Matt Joked mimicking the waitress in every truck stop diner scene ever filmed, the snapping of the gum and all. Lilly couldn't help but smile. "I'll take a crown and seven" Matt looked at her impressed "I like a girl who can hold her whiskey." he said a half smile creeping across his mouth. He winked as he turned and made his way to the bar. Lilly took the time to think about what she was actually doing here. No biggie she was having a drink. With a complete stranger a voice in her head warned. Not for the first time she reminded herself. How else did people meet. Everyone you've ever known was once a complete stranger. That seemed to quiet the voice that sounded suspiciously like her grandmother. Matt returned with a beer for him and a tall glass with very little ice for Lilly. "Are you trying to get me drunk?" she asked playfully. "Hey I just want to hear about this daydream." Matt held his hands up in mock innocence. "Fair enough." Lilly said taking a long sip from her glass. She felt the whiskey warm her throat as she swallowed. She realized Matt was sitting quietly waiting for this daydream that she hadn't really put much thought into. She thought for a minute and then began telling him a more detailed version of what she had thought of in line at the bank. "Well you see, I live on the fifth floor of this apartment building downtown, and I was just picturing taking you back there with me. But you see, in my fantasy, the elevator was broken so we had to take the stairs. As we were walking up, you traced your hand up one of my thighs." As she said this Matt did just that under the narrow table. Lilly felt an instant moistening all over her body. "Then what?" Matt asked, a sheepish grin on his stubbled face. "Well..." Lilly said, taking a deep breath to steady her voice. "I reached down taking your hand and led it up to my lips slowly taking one long finger and gently placed it in my mouth." Matt held his hand out to her above the table. Lilly just looked at him and arched her eyebrow seductively. She looked around, making sure no one was looking and she did exactly as she had just described. She took his left hand in hers, once again impressed that his hand was so much larger than her own. She ducked her chin and licked her lips, and slowly took his middle finger into her cool wet mouth, tracing her tongue around it and nibbling slightly as she withdrew it. Matt stared at her with fire in his blue green eyes, and mouthed the words "And then." Lilly smiled and still holding his hand, tracing her fingers over his rough palm and calloused fingers continued with her dirty little fantasy. "Well obviously after that you couldn't stand it anymore. We never made it to my apartment, you bent me over right there, against the railing. You lifted my dress, and tore my panties off." She stopped and took another long sip of her drink. Matt sat wordlessly on the other side of the narrow table. One hand in Lilly's and the other slowly tracing the bare skin of her knee and inner thigh. "Then..." Matt encouraged her. " We'll just have to see how that one ends." she said teasingly. "We sure will." Matt said with a slight disappointed hope in his voice.

They drank three more rounds and continued with the normal small talk of getting to know one another. It seemed as if there was no one else in the bar or at least no one else that mattered. Matt barely looked up when the large chested, barely clothed, waitress finally did come to their booth. "Can I get you folks anything to eat?" "I think just another round of drinks and the check." Matt said with his head turned toward her but his eyes never leaving Lilly's. "We're going to be leaving real soon." he added with a wink. "Ok I'll be right back with those drinks!" Lilly looked at him surprised and a bit turned on at his forwardness. "So where are 'we' going when 'we' leave?" "Well if you are up for it I thought we could go back to my place." She looked at him her brow wrinkled with consideration. "It's only got one floor. We'll make inside in plenty of time." He teased. "Well I guess a girl can't argue with that kind of reasoning." "She certainly Can't" Matt said with a wink. He stood dropping three twenties on the table and reached for Lilly's hand. She looked at him, surprise in her green eyes. "We're not even going to wait for the check?" "That should cover it, with a generous tip I might add." He wiggled his fingers at her and she reached for his hand. They snaked their way back to the exit. Lilly loving the feel of Matt's strong hand in hers.


"I'll follow you." She said pointing to her car parked only a few spaces away from the entrance to the bank. "Ok" He said pointing to his dark green pick up parked a few spaces up from her. "Hey Wait!" He called walking back towards her. She was fishing her keys out of her bag. "Wha..." She got the word halfway out before he was on top of her. He pushed her against her car both hands planted firmly on the roof and his hips as close as they could get to Lilly's. She had her hands on his chest and slid one up to the back of his neck. She pulled herself closer to him and he kissed her hungrily. She pulled back Bringing his bottom lip with her between her teeth. "What was that?" she asked breathlessly. "Just a little preview." Matt winked and pressed his hips into hers again. A lot of words describing that preview came to mind but little was definitely not one of them. "Don't lose me." Lilly said tugging at the chest of his T-shirt. "Not a chance." He said with a wink and sauntered to his truck.

The twenty-two minute drive was the longest twenty two minutes of Lilly's life. They drove farther and farther away from the small center of the town. Past the old saw mill and out over the bridge the was said to be haunted. Just as Lilly was starting to have second thoughts Matt turned down a road that was really no more than a dirt path cut into the trees and Lilly started to get nervous. "He's bringing me out into the woods to kill me I just know it" she thought. Just as she was seriously thinking about turning around and driving as fast as she could out of this place, a small unfinished cabin came into view. It was beautiful in the summer night's fading light. It had the skeleton of a wrap around porch and a intricately carved large wooden front door. There were bits and pieces of the inside of the house peaking through the cabin's large, low windows. Lilly parked behind mat's truck and got out of the car. "This is beautiful" she said meaning it to be more powerful than she was sure it sounded. "Thanks I built it myself. I don't get a lot of spare time but I steal any second I get. It's taken my a little over three years to get this far I figure I should be done with the porch by the end of the summer. After that it's mostly cosmetic stuff. Better cabinets for the kitchen, A bigger shower. Stuff like that" Lilly studied his face as he was talking about his creation. It really was more of a work of art than a just a house. He looked so proud as he spoke, And he had every right to, the house was amazing. Matt shook his head a little to clear the picture of the finished house from his mind. He had a guest to entertain after all. "Shall we?" he asked nodding in the direction of the house. "We shall" Lilly answered walking a few steps ahead of him.

As she walked up the few steps there were to the porch Matt gently ran his hand up her outer thigh. "Don't start what you can't finish." Lilly teased "Oh I have every intention of finishing this." Matt said in answer. "Really?" Lilly asked as she turned and leaned against the heavy wooden door. "Really." Matt said as he pushed her back against the door and leaned into her, the length of his body pressing against hers. He kissed his way up her neck biting her ear, his hands tracing over her entire body. He Kissed her hard on the mouth. The stubble on his chin scratching her skin. Lilly's whole body was quivering with anticipation. She gently pushed him back away from her and said "Hey you promised we'd make it inside in time." She reached down and placed her hand on the sizeable bulge just beneath the stiff canvas of his pants. "And if we keep at it at this pace I don't think we will." "Goof proint" Matt muttered his lips still on her neck. He backed up slightly allowing Lilly to turn around while he found his house key. Matt hooked his arm around her waist and pulled her to him while he unlocked the door. Kissing her neck and rubbing her stomach the whole time. They walked in like that and Lilly was taken aback by how beautiful the inside of the house was as well. It had an open floor plan. With steep stairs running up the middle. They led to, from what Lilly could see, a small loft bedroom with a low bed and a large skylight. "Hey! You lied to me. You said it was only one floor" Lilly said pointing the the stairs. "Well that's really only half a floor." Matt joked. "So it was really only a half lie." He was in the kitchen which was off to the left it was beautiful as well with a granite topped island a few feet from the sink, that was cluttered with things that told Lilly hints about Matt. There was a large wooden bowl filled with fruit. There were a few scraps of paper with rough sketches of the house, cabinets, and what looked like a small barn on them. He was an architect he probably doodled while on the phone. There was a deep porcelain skin, with open faced cabinets above, made from a light pine. Along the entire back wall there were floor to ceiling bookshelves. Scattered among the hundreds of books were framed family photos, and little tidbits that told a lot about Matt and what kind of guy he was. There were antique tools, and interesting pieces of wood and stone tucked in here and there. Lilly walked the small down stairs as Matt took of his boots and set them by the door. She was admiring the small pot belly wood stove when Matt came up behind her "Do you want anything to drink?" he asked his mouth hot on her ear. "I think I've had enough for one night." she said turning her head to kiss him. "I don't know you never did finish that day dream." "Well I told you we would have to see how it turned out didn't I?" Matt nodded solemnly as he held her hand to his mouth and kissed the tip of each finger then the palm. "Well let's go and see." She said as she pulled him toward the stairs.

They reached the top of the stairs and Matt couldn't keep his hands off Lilly. He wanted to touch every inch of her. And she wanted that as well. They stood At the foot of his bed Kissing and caressing each other until he could no longer stand it. Matt reached down and took the hem of Lilly's dress and pulled it up over her head hurriedly. Lilly raised her arms obediently and he tossed the dress off to the side of them. Lilly stood in front of him in only a champagne colored slip and heels. He had never seen anything so sexy in all his thirty one years of life. "What?" Lilly asked reaching to cover herself. "You're staring" Matt was staring he couldn't help himself. "Can you blame me? You are so beautiful" He looked at her, the setting July sun hitting her hair, making it look as if it was actually made of copper. "Alright there buddy you've already have me half naked in you bedroom. No need for the sweet talk now." "It's not just sweet talk, it's the truth." Lilly smiled and took a step toward him. She traced her nails over his chest through the T-shirt and then underneath it. She started to pull the thin material over his stomach but he took the shirt from her fingers and pulled it over his head in one quick smooth motion. He tossed it aside with Lilly's dress, and hooked his arm around her pulling her to him. Her slip glided between their bare skin. He loved the feel of the smooth fabric against his chest but not nearly as much as her nipples, small and erect straining against the thin fabric. He Rubbed his hands all over her body. Lilly could feel his rough hands creating small catches in the smooth fabric of her slip and it only worked to turn her on more. Matt reached for his belt buckle but Lilly pushed his hands away. She looped two fingers into the belt loops and pulled him with her as she sat on the edge of the bed. She undid his belt buckle, un snapped, and unzipped his pants. Matt let out a small moan as she traced her finger nails around the waist band of his dark red boxer briefs. He Put one hand in her hair and took her hand in the other. He put her hand on his growing erection and she looked up at him. He stared down at her begging her to touch him. "Please...." He said almost in a whisper. "Please what?" Lilly asked a devilish smile on her lips. "Do it." Matt said "What do you want me to do?" she teased tracing her nails along the hard flesh under his boxers. "I want you to....to suck my cock." He said with a slight tug at her hair. "Yes Sir!" Lilly joked. She slowly pulled his boxers down below his waist and let them drop to the floor. She took mat's penis in one hand and his peach fuzz covered balls in the other. She slowly licked from the base of his penis to the head. She looked up at him and he gave her a 'don't you dare stop' look. Slowly teasingly she circled her tongue around the head of his rock hard penis. He had his hand tangled in the mess of curls that was her hair and he flexed his fingers absently in pleasure. When she didn't think he could take it anymore she pulled back, licked her lips, and took all of him in her mouth. Matt arched back with pleasure and let out the breath he'd been holding. Lilly only made three or four passes when Matt pushed her back. She lay back on her elbows staring up at him. "Why'd you stop me? I could've keep going." "I bet you could have. God that felt so good. But if didn't stop you I would've came and I want to be inside you when that happens." "Really." Lilly crooned at him as she pulled him down onto the bed with her. He lay on top of her with that slip still between them. He wanted to feel her skin on his skin. Her bare chest on his. He slid his hand up her thigh pulling the slip along. He traced his hand up her leg to her stomach past her navel. He slid his hand between her breasts and met no fabric there. She was braless and that thought alone almost made him come. He cupped one of her full breasts in his hand feeling her nipple hardened at his touch. He pulled her slip up over her head. He sat up on his knees straddling her. She lay back on the bed, in nothing but a pair or black lacy boyshorts. Matt reached for them and Lilly arched her back up to meet his hand. He cupped his hand over the lace panties and felt how wet she was. He Slid the panties down her long legs and threw them at the foot of the bed with his pants and boxers. He leaned down and Kissed her quivering thigh and then the other. He kissed her hips and just below her navel. She was raising her hips up in anticipation of what was coming but instead of kissing her where she wanted to be kissed the most he slid two fingers into her. Lilly let out a small moan and her hands went instinctively to her breast. Matt kept rubbing and pulsing until he made her come twice with nothing but his fingers. He kissed up her stomach, between her breasts, along her collar bone. Then leaning down, he kissed each breast. He gently nibbled her nipple and when she moaned he bit down harder. Lilly gasped with pleasure. "Do you like that?" Matt asked his mouth still hot on her breast. "Yes." Lilly moaned. He then understood that she liked pain and pulled both her arms above her head and pinned her hands there both of them easily fitting beneath one of his. He traced his other hand down the length of her body, the roughness of his palm almost scratching the delicate skin of her stomach and thigh. Lilly let out a whimper "What was that Lilly?" Matt asked a teasing note in his voice. "Please..." Lilly moaned "Please what?" Matt asked the power in his voice matching that of his hand that was holding Lilly down. "What do you want me to do Lilly?" She looked up and made eye contact and held it "I want you to fuck me Matt. Hard. Fuck Me Please" she lay back panting and trying to wriggle free of his hand but it was no use he was strong and held tight. At her request Matt spread her legs letting her try to resist him. He pushed her right leg up with his knee and lifted her left leg hooking her knee over his shoulder. He hesitated only a second before entering her. He pushed deep into her and she cried out with pleasure. He went slow at first, then his thrusting became harder and harder. Just as Lilly was about to come again, he pulled out and flipped her over with ease on to her stomach. With her body flat against the mattress Matt Entered her from behind loving the tightness this position brought. Lilly came quickly and pushed herself up onto all fours. Matt grabbed her elbows and pumped away. He pulled Lilly up onto her knees as he sat back on his. With two more thrusts he came and they collapsed onto the bed exhausted and both breathing as if they had just run a marathon. Lilly lay there for a while catching her breath and not believing what had just happened. She slowly got up and started to put herself back together. She found her slip and pulled it over her head. Matt looked up at her from the bed where he lay, spent. "That was amazing." Lilly said taking the hand he had held out to her. "Thank you for not wanting to cuddle" She said only half meaning it she would have loved to sleep in mat's big strong arms but it somehow didn't seem like it was in the cards. "Who said I didn't want to cuddle?" Matt said as he pulled her back into bed with him. He encircled her in his arms and pulled a sheet up over them. "Goodnight Lilly" Matt said kissing the back of her neck. "Goonight Matt" She answered inching her back closer to him until she lay flat against his chest and stomach. Bringing his hand from her hip to her mouth and kissing the palm she said "Sleep well." but he was already breathing deeply.

I Called Because I Just Need To Feel You On The Line

Weeks ago, against my better judgment, I called you. I was lonely, and sad, and so sick of sleeping alone that I just wanted to hear your voice. You were delivering so we didn't really talk. You sounded very unsurprised to hear from me. Like you knew I'd come crawling back. Which is why I didn't call you back. I figured if you wanted to talk to me you would call me.

Well you did. Sunday night. I was grumpy and didn't feel like talking to anyone so I pretended to be sleeping when my mom knocked on my door. Later when I looked at the caller ID and saw your name and number I felt like I was just punched in the stomach. And now I'm confused. And I miss you again, which for the record, I stopped doing for about an hour.

You told her that you wanted to say happy birthday, that is why you wanted my number. Well my birthday was three weeks ago. So now I'm wondering why you really called. Did you just want to talk. Chew the fat with someone who has seen you naked, knows how you breathe while you are sleeping, has held your hand and laughed with you, sat in your car and cried with you. Or did you call because you, like me, are missing what we had. Cause I do miss it. I miss our jokes, and sleeping in your bed, and holding your hand, I miss kissing the back of your neck, I missing watching the Simpsons with you. I just miss you.

Or did you want to see how I was. Well as you may be able to tell I'm not that great. I'm lonely and sad. And I spend all day trying not to think about it. Trying to tell myself that there are plenty of fish in the sea and all that. But it sucks when the one you want you had to throw back.


Did the other girl, the one you felt you could marry, not work out? Are you just as lonely as me? Somehow I doubt that. You never did seem to have a problem finding someone to spend your nights with .

Was it just that? Did you have no one else to be with that night (and God forbid you spend a night alone) so why not give me a call. Maybe I would have hung out with you that night. Had I answered the phone, and had you asked. It would be so easy to slip back into what we used to do. And how I would love it. But I couldn't do it, not like it was. I couldn't be just one of the many. Just a chorus girl in the stage version of your lovelife.

But I would like to hear your voice....

I Want To Break Free

I have these day dreams about just packing up and leaving.
Driving as far as my piece of shit car will take me.
And starting over.
I'm sure I could get a job somewhere.
Meet new people.
Make new friends.
Sleep in the back seat if need be.
Watch all that's familiar slowly shrinking in the rear view.

Then I snap out of it and realize
No
I could never do this.
I'm too much of a chicken shit.

But just that thought......
Being somewhere where no one knows me....
A new wind blowing through my hair.....
A different ground beneath my feet.....
Faces I've never seen seeing mine for the first time......

It's enough to keep me day dreaming.

It's Just That People Are So Fickle, They Fall In Love At Different Angles.

I was the first girl you ever loved. I guess I always knew that, I mean we said it way back then. When we were just high schoolers. But I kinda took it as just something you say. Don't get me wrong I said it too and I meant it too, I just was never quite sure if you meant it as much as I did. You were home for the weekend and it was kind of just a given that we would see each other, we never can break away for too long. I picked you up and we drove to a familiar place. Where you could drink cup after cup of sugar laden coffee, and we could sit for hours on end with no one really bothering us. We covered all the normal subjects, your new relationship, my lack of one... Why it always comes back to me and you I'll never know. But it always does.

We drove out to the school sitting in my car with nothing to see by but the orange street light behind us. We must have sat there for a good ten minutes just laughing at ourselves for being so stupid. We both knew what we wanted to be doing and it wasn't sitting in the car. So we got out. Hugged in the cold. My knees and hands shaking, and not just from the night air. I don't know what it is about you, but you can always make me feel that way. Like I'm about to have my very first kiss all over again. We walked down to the swing set, and in a way that felt very much like foreplay, I swung and you stood there watching. We talked. We touched. We laughed. We hugged. And I shook. I waited for the kiss, the one that always comes when we are around each other, but it never came. I felt it. Right there. Moments from happening. While we stood there, foreheads pressed together, your arms lingering around my waist. I was surprised and I little disappointed when you said we should get going. But I knew it was probably for the best. If we had started kissing I don't think I could have stopped.

When I dropped you off we sat in the car for a few minutes again. The front seat full of that energy that only happens with you. We hugged, then I leaned in and kissed you. 'Just one' I said as if that would ever be true. You ducked you head in a your lips met mine again and stayed longer this time. And it was amazing. That kiss only belongs to you. I've kissed a lot of people but that one only happens with your lips. You finally left the safety of the car, back into the real world. Where you have a girlfriend. And she isn't me. Back to 2004, where we are not high schoolers and our kisses hold no magic. Back to where I am lonely, and unloved.

That night I drove home with a smile, and it wasn't only the kisses that left it on my lips. Seeing you, talking to you that night, it gave me hope. You loved me once. Maybe that means I'm not that damaged. I'm not as bad off as I seem to be. Maybe someday someone can love me again.

I needed that hope.
More than you can ever know.

Friend Is A Four Letter Word

So my 21st came and went nothing exciting happened... Sue, Sorrel, and I tried to go out but the only club we could all get into had exactly three (3) people in it...... So we sacked that idea... It was nice to see them and everything but I wish something more eventful than spending a bunch of time getting ready took place.... I looked really hot that night too! If I do say so myself and I was sooo looking forward to having guys all over me... Cause that so often happens... But It was my birthday and I wanted to feel hot... Instead we came back to my house and watched a little bit of a DVD but they started to fall asleep and then went home... It was such an eventful night I can't even write it all down in this here blog.....

Now don't get me wrong I love them both. To death. I could not live without them ... But they are both in happy relationships, and I, as we all know, am not in one at all... Happy or otherwise... sooo to listen to them talk about their boyfriends and how happy they are and how perfect and in love and bla bla bla.... Made me want to do unkind things to them.... Slowly

Not too much else going on... Work... Sleep .... Work..... TV... Sleep...Work.... It's a blast.... Wait no it's not.
It's no fun at all.....