If You Call My Name Out Loud
Do You Suppose That I Would Come Running
Do You Suppose I'd Come At All
I Suppose I Would

We decided not to see each other and I really was going to stick to that. Then you called me. You said 'Hey you' and I knew it wasn't over. I still got butterflies when I heard your voice. So when you asked me to hang out I knew exactly what was going to happen. And I was so happy. You came and picked me up and it was just like nothing had changed. That week apart may as well have been a few hours. We kissed as soon as we saw each other. Just the same. I took you to see my new house. The whole drive over your hand still floating from my thigh back to the wheel. Mine still resting on the back of your neck, my fingers absently playing with your hair. I missed you. More that I thought I was going to. I honestly thought I could do it. Cut and run, just drop all the feelings I had for you. Just like I had always done before. But this time was different. All last week I spent my days wondering what you were doing. Missing you. I wanted to call you about a thousand times. The thought that you probably weren't alone was what kept me from the phone.

I know that all the same problems still exist, they are still there right below the surface. Behind the smiles and little kisses. Just under the hand holding and personal jokes. We are still in the same place, me wanting to be with just you, you feeling like you can't do that. I know we need to talk about it but everytime there is a chance I don't want to ruin the time we are spending together with talk about other women and where this is going. I want to enjoy what we have. I want to laugh, and kiss, and touch, and joke with you without having tension between us. I want to be happy without thinking about the pain that is coming just around the next corner. This is a new thing for me. Wanting happiness. I used to run from it. Knowing that the smiles only ever brought on tears down the road. As of right now I just want to smile. I don't want to think about this ending. I want to enjoy it while it lasts however long that may be.