And I will wait to find
If this will last forever
And I will pay no mind
When it won't and it won't
Because it won't
Because it can't
It just can't
It's not supposed to
 
I don't know what made me so fragile, or why I stayed that way. But with one sentence I pulled back. I realized that I don't know what I want out of this. It has been fun, it's been nice. To have someone to lay next to, and hold my hand, someone to talk to, and someone who listens when I talk. But last night it became clear that maybe this isn't what I want. Or maybe just this version of it isn't. It's hard enough to figure out what is going on with us, or even in any new (can I call it a) relationship, but to have an ex girlfriend there, saying this or that and pointing out things that you do with me that you never did with her, just makes it that much harder. I felt the shift as soon as the words left your mouth. You probably felt it too. I had an incredible urge to leave. Just get up and go. Make up some lame excuse and tell you I'd call you soon. And at the same time I wanted to tell you all the shit that was running through my head. Shit like 
I feel rejected.
I feel hurt.
I feel like a big part of you still chooses her and always will.
When she wasn't there It was great but the minute she walked in the door last night you changed.
It makes me uncomfortable to hear you two talk about things you bought together and who is going to get what. I know there is a lot of baggage between you two, but I don't need it and I don't want it.
I'm not her.
I won't react the same way she does to things, if you don't want to cuddle on the couch then just say so.
But you seemed to be all fine and good with it till she pointed out that in the two years you were together you didn't do that with her.
Too fucking bad.
Is it really that you don't want to or is it just that she pointed it out. 
This is never going to work and who knows maybe this isn't working now.
Maybe this all just happened way too fast.
It's only been a little over a week.
There are no strings.
No obligations.
Maybe, just maybe I should do what I do best and sabotage what ever this is. 
Just cut and run.
Get away from you as fast as I got so close to you.

So I am sorry if I seemed quiet and distant last night, but with all that going on in my head I didn't really want to say anything for fear that all of it would come rushing out.  I do like you and I do want this to continue but it's hard for me,  you have to understand that. You got so close so fast and I am running scared here. When you kissed me goodbye this morning and said you'd talk to me soon the first thing that ran through my head was 'what the fuck does that mean?... Soon ... That could mean anything.' I guess I'll just have to wait it out.