And She's My Friend Of All Friends

Longest week ever! Sue was home on spring break, which basically meant very little sleep and a whole lot of laughing. Seriously I don't know what I would do with out her some days, hell everyday. She is without a doubt my best friend. I feel bad saying that because I have other friends who I feel really close to too but Sue and I have been though everything together. There are things that I could never tell anyone else that she knows, things that I do with her that I would never do with anyone else. We have so many inside jokes and new ones that we add every time we hang out. I have never laughed harder with anyone else and I don't think I ever will.

We went to the school one day to see the teachers. And it made me feel really old. They treated us like adults, talked to us differently, even looked at us in a new way. It was strange. Like everything they had to be neutral about when we were students they could now speak freely about. I guess it really wasn't that big of a deal but it seemed like it at the time. It was one of those days when you realize that you've grown up a little. Even if you hadn't noticed it before there it is.....Adulthood, staring you in the face.

We also hung out with Mr. Mead one night. We went to Friendly's and then just drove around for about two hours. It was fun in an odd way. He is the only person I know that can make me feel the way he does. He makes me feel like I want to be who he thinks I am. I want to be that stable, trusting in herself girl that he sees me as. He says things to me that make me think that someday I can get there. That I won't always be this mess of emotion and uncertainty that I am now. He makes me realize that the problems that I think I have won't always be there. He gives me hope that I will go to school, find the life I want, and a person who will love me for me, that I won't be alone forever. It's a feeling that doesn't last long after I say goodbye to him but for that little while it's nice to have hope.

I had a huge fight with my parents this week too. It was stupid and just not worth it but it happened and made me look at my life and myself in a way that I have been putting off ever since my mom got diagnosed. I've haven't really dealt with the whole 'cancer' thing yet and I know that I need to but I've been making other things more important so I didn't have to think about my mom being sick. But the fight was about me treating the house like my apartment because I had a few friends over for a half an hour. It was a stupid fight and it didn't really make any sense to me, but it made my mom upset which made my dad pissed at me which made me pissed at both of them. My mom for yelling at me in front of people for no good reason and my dad for getting upset when he wasn't even there to be upset by the actual thing. He was just mad at me because my mom got mad. Of course they threw in the whole 'you think you are better than all of us' shit that they always pull when I'm in trouble. And how I need to put more into helping around the house and do the laundry and kiss my mother's ass. Basically they just yelled at me for 4 days and then acted like nothing happened. I love it when they do that.

I also got a $100 speeding ticket on Friday. I had just had another little spat with my mom and Sue and I were on the way to her house, we were on 91 and My door sounded as if It were open so I pulled off onto 5 & 10 so I could close it. So I pulled over and close my door then started to drive again, we were gonna get back onto the highway like 5 feet down the road and I was going like 60 and I say to Susan 'hmm I should slow down we're not on the highway anymore' so I slowed down but I guess I sped back up cause the next thing I know I'm seeing the blue lights of Hatfield's ONE cop. So I was pissed from the fighting with the parents and blabla so I was just like whatever about it all.......The funny thing is we pass each other every day going home from work going like 70. Oh well.

So that was the high points of my week. So much excitement I know try to hold yourselves back......