Here's A Question That's Been Tested

My mother asked me bitchily "When are you going to grow up?" tonight. I take offense to that. I guess anyone would, but she really made me feel like an ass. I know I'm not really doing what I should be. I should be going to school, or at least preparing to go in the fall. Instead I'm working not really all that much, wasting my money on shit I don't need, when I should be saving it up for the life that I will eventually have to face the facts and live. I don't know what my problem is about school. I've known what I want to do since I was in 6th grade, yet here it is 2 years after high school graduation and I'm not one inch closer to it than I was back then. I have something wrong with me that is keeping me from doing what I want to be doing. I sometimes wonder what if we never moved? Would I have gotten my shit together and gone to school like everyone else? Would I have more friends? A love life? Would I be feeling anything that remotely resembles happiness?

But those are things that can't be answered because I did move. I'm not in school like everyone else. I Don't have more friends. Or a love life, other than a loosely defined 'friends with benefits' type of thing. And as of late nothing that feels like happiness. So Maybe now is the time for me to grow up and get my act together. At least then my mother would leave me alone.....